a very attractive girl working at Girl has a boyfriend but says shes in love with both of us! Ask about the cashiers day or tell them about something happening in the store. And then you never, ever speak of it again. I really enjoy talking to you here and Ive thought it might be nice to do it outside of work sometime. This is not a hook up sub He also said if that he would be interested in going out with me if they actually broke up. The problem? I mean there are always like 5 people before and after me, and I think it would be awkward if we are changing numbers while customers are waiting behind us. You dont know this person, they dont know you! Ill text you! and then not do it. >:(. A woman, by her nature, is careful with whom she picks as her mate, biologically speaking, women carry a big responsibility for their off-spring. Later, on hearing about it, my nasty coworker who was a demoted ex-manager told me that I shouldnt have been rude to a customer. So I can definitely imagine a manager who would expect someone in a customer service position to say yes to keep the customer. When I worked retail, a man who grabbed me from behind when I was alone in the store and I told him to get his hands off me. Lets give them the benefit of the doubt here. (I was visiting my hometown, where he worked, but I lived pretty far away.). I also want to say DONT DO IT! Let them know why they caught your eye and why spending time together would be fun. Can you help me? I can find out though and that might make things a little less fraught, dynamics-wise, if he is. How To Ask A Cashier Out? - urbnfresh.com Knowing how to read the defense is key to succeeding in this virtual gridiron world. Anyway, I begged her not to ask him out, at least not while I was there because I have been put in that situation at work before and I wanted no part of it, and especially not before we paid because I was worried he might think his tip depended on his answer. With the acknowledgment that some people may say NOT to ask a cashier out at her work, can I get some ideas from you all assuming that I AM going to ask her out. Yeah, thats a sitcom episode waiting to happen. When asking a cashier out, it is important to be respectful and considerate of their feelings. Can you try something more neutral, like inviting him out to hang out with you and a group of friends? Its a place of business, not a singles bar. Asking someone out should never sound like a mere business transaction; this could put off anyone from accepting your invitation! I felt like if something could prod him to say that, I must not have imagined it.). The OP posts an innocuous I see you every day at the 7-11 and I think youre cute but the employee thinks she posted the one that lists off 200 acts the Kama Sutra never dreamed of. Clearly your girlfriend didnt know you were doing it. This doesn't require breaking any of these rules, but it requires finesse. Im in the school of thought that the fact OP is concerned about how it will be received probably means shes fine to move forward. Yes, retail employees get hit on a lot, but on the flip side, I always thought working retail was fun because I got to meet some cute guy customers. Thats why the OP should say it cheerfully, quietly, quickly, hand the card over and exit. I love that show, I wish they would bring it back. Do you have personal experience where you successfully use this technic? I do know that she had been coming in once or twice a week for months before anyone made a move, and I know they had been chatting a lot more than your average employee and customer would chat (to the point that I wonder how he wasnt reprimanded for not doing his work). I get enough catcalls on the streets. As long as she's doing anything related to her job (which does involve commuting to and from her home) you leave her alone. :/. . I hated being asked out when I worked retail because it was awkward and there was never anywhere I could escape to after I said no. I took his pointing out hes male as, Hey, Im a dude, so take what Im saying with a grain of salt, but this is what I think, I consider myself a pretty well-centered person. There joined a new cashier in my local food product market. This is so uncomfortable to me. To subscribe to this RSS feed, copy and paste this URL into your RSS reader. You might even ask them to simply repeat what they said. If I didnt think i would get tipped if I turned them down, I gave them a fake phone number and then smiled when they left me a whopping tip behind. Unless we want to rely on eHarmony to produce the next generation, you have to take advantage of opportunities that present in the real world.. If youre friendly and encouraging about it, welcoming, then his response will tell you. Usually I prefer directness but this might get awkward if you go there often plus retail employees get hit on a lot. You won't know where to stop and it'll turn creepy. Retail employees have to be nice to customers. It's also good to sanity-check your own motivations. There is also the fact that their job hinges on them being nice to everyone- also a power issue. But I think there are easier first dates. Some people may have good intentions and be okay with a rejection, but there are a lot of men who arent and turn vicious if theyre ignored or rejected. The problem is that all the good intent in the world doesnt really change how the service person being put on the spot is going to react. I realize this situation is reversed, but when I was single if I was asked out at the center the answer was, Im sorry, thats not allowed. Also, you werent allowed to give out your contact information either. Thats how its been done forfreakingever. But you know what? I must be old fashioned too, how in the heck are people supposed to meet these days if you dont want to do so at bars or online? Make me a good burrito, and you will always have a platonic place in my heart. The world has always been creepy, you just werent aware of it. Its a very weird situation and I agree with you that I need to speak with him outside of work in order to figure out whats going on. Obviously you dont want to be creepily waiting for him by his car or something, but it could give you a chance to ask him out while hes off the clock. My rule is simple. I am a 23 year old man and i want to ask a girl out that works in a clothes shop nearby where i live. Like, just reading the net, its easy to get the impression that a good 80% of men are creepsters. From a quick skim of the comments, it seems like Im in the minority opinion here (Im a man myself), but two things: 1. I put the money in her hand, and then she gave change back. Is he single? The waitress said he was single and that hed love to get a number so we left her number with her credit car receipt. I think the best thing to do is go in right before close and mention something like Ive been craving cheese fries from place super nearby I was going to go with my friend but they bailed. Where I grew up (the UK) it is completely normal, typical and acceptable to engage in conversation with shopkeepers. Do it OP. Asking me point-blank if Id like to go on a date with you is going to make me feel really uncomfortable. then nope. I too worked retail and was both hit on and asked out. Its this: Be very well dressed and be well groomed. Oh gosh students. There are definitely some completely unreasonable managers out there, particularly in retail. But it was a bit of an eye opener when I saw him making the same friendly conversation with another beer-loving female customer. Its how our brains are wired up. (29M). What I say may sound weird to some, but you can actually be cool and nice to women without any second thoughts. I think if the OP really, really wants to follow up on this guy, the way to do it is by very gradually escalating and paying a lot of attention to his responses. Here's where you'll go wrong, due to these butterflies, oh man -. If you get declined, however rudely, don't go complaining. Or if she can recommend some better-tasting cookies. Something short and simple and easy for both of you. He is the only person who ever scored my real phone number, and I wasnt a bit sorry. Asking is out is just Let me know if youd like to grab coffee sometime. And yes getting asked out does often make me feel uncomfortable if Im not interested. After you have built a basic connection with her, you can leave a brief note (with a smiley probably) as others have suggested. That doesnt mean that you should never do it or that it never works out, but it does mean thatif youre going to do it, its key to approachit in a low-key way that makes it really, really easy for the personto say no. A lot of managers will take the word of the customer over their employee, so it is not out the realm of possibility to be written up for that complaint. Try to greet incoming customers within 30 seconds. You typically only hear those kind of stories with hookers and johns (because youre not going to the cops to report a pimp robbing you) but I assume it happens to regular people too. Basically, its not the question that is the problem but the power dynamics and concern for what might happen if you reject them given those power dynamics. To help you build up the courage to take the plunge, it is important to focus on feeling more confident. Always be on your best behavior around them in the future. Making statements based on opinion; back them up with references or personal experience. Its not *dating* phobia per se its management phobia. Copyright 2007 - 2023 Ask A Manager. Keep your body language open so that they feel more at ease. just joking. Its not only retail I was once asked out repeatedly by the older brother of one of my students! its funny (not funny ha ha). Or, just be a little more obvious about YOUR flirting; hang there beside him just to talk to him, and then watch is body language; is he glad of it, or does he start to get antsy or pull away after a polite interval. Personally, Ive never really liked turning people down in any setting, probably because of my conditioning as a woman in this society, and it just gets weirder and more awkward when Im in customer service/dont upset the customer mode, even if that customer is normal and not some creepazoid that rings every alarm bell of every female on staff. When the drill was over and he returned to his station, he asked his supervisor for help in reaching out to my coworker. If you dont call well forget this ever happened.. Al Haitham Genshin is an accomplished actor, producer, and media personality from India. To be successful in this If he were flirty I doubt that Id take him seriously. Thanks! Be bold with your words if possible but dont be too overt or desperate. We always flirted, he always asked me about what was going on in my life, on and on. Are there any canonical examples of the Prime Directive being broken that aren't shown on screen? If you ask her as you are going through the checkout say "hi, how are you doing?" How to ask a cashier out : r/dating_advice - Reddit Short story about swapping bodies as a job; the person who hires the main character misuses his body. Agreed. She went to Spain on vacation, bought a bunch of cheese, and casually mentioned it to him one day, saying, It might be fun for you to come over and try some of it with me.. I may have spent several hours of my life yelling, YES OF COURSE SHE DOES THAT IS HER JOB at my computer. He seemed interested until I got a text from him later saying he couldnt make it. Thanks, this was something that Id been considering too! So theyll make a HUGE impact, far more of an impact than the 600 perfectly reasonable men who went through the store that day. Don't go forcing this or setting up though, because again that might just gain you the 'creep' label and might seem like you're stalking her however you do handle that encounter. People shouldnt just ask anyone everyone they find the least bit attractive while at their place of work but I think it is different if you think you could really have a strong connection with this person. Learning how to read the defense, Al Haitham Genshin is 8 years old. At some point we realized that we needed to meet outside the store to really talk, which we then did. She called, and shortly after she was on my couch. And youre right. Do NOT make any comments about their physical appearance, that will make it weird forever. I was a good 10 years older than him AND he knew I was engaged because after the first incident I made sure to mention it. And the corn guy had his own business. I find the other answers very unusual, which illustrates there must be some kind of cultural difference at play. Let me apologize in advance for all the guys out there who do this. It is best to be direct and honest when asking someone out. Since it's about whimsy, the goal here isn't "yes" - the goal here is "why not?". I cant throw enough yesses at this reply, fposte. So the power dynamic is not so different. She might followup with other questions like "what time?" I wrote write my info on a small piece of paper and said something as non-pickup-y as possible: If you want to talk more about photography, heres my info or something. Is "I didn't think it was serious" usually a good defence against "duty to rescue"? And this is where our similarities come in to play: I was thinking, had I not had a girlfriend, would I ask this girl out? It was very intentional for me to talk to you about games. For more information, please see our It was awkward, but I realize now that Im probably better off. We made plans to go to a local haunted house together in a couple of weeks, but a conversation in the meantime put the brakes on that. Should I leave a note in case it's busy at her line? If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Enough folks in customer-service positions have testified on that thread that they get unwanted solicitations so often that even if you are the nice person who means really well, you might still be a REALLY annoying straw on that camels back. Because of that, it can be easy to I usually just tried to be extra nice and funny about it without bringing in the orientation thing, then went on with the rest of my day. I worked both large city and small town shops. Archived post. This could be almost anything, but here are some examples: This should be something you actually enjoy, so be sure to let your excitement about your hobby be apparent when you mention it. Can you help me?" I always wanted to date him and ask him out, but I never got the courage until a few years ago when I found out we were both single. So, to answer your question if you know that people are male, then refer to them as male: Gentlemen, Sirs, Guys, or whatever suits the occasion best. So if you do this, and he says anything thats not an enthusiastic yes, please reconsider shopping there again. He just seems interested. Start with neutral topics (the weather is an evergreen) and see what her response is. Holy cats, it was painful to watch him. When I was newly single (and loving it) after an early, long marriage, I ended up chatting regularly with a nice and nice-looking young man who worked in the produce department of my usual grocery store. For me, once was an uncomfortable first date, once was a few dates, no more, once was an amazing relationship and one turned into a stalker. Being a little bit creepy, is okay, if you can't help it (you should), but don't be a stalker. ask I see what youre getting at, but my experience in retail and food service was that everybody doing the latter still thinks theyre doing the former.. Or you could be lucky and run into her on a bus or somewhere else out of context. Last sentence should read: Id be flattered, even if I was NOT interested. To learn more, see our tips on writing great answers. Theres a lot of faux-socializing in retail thats meant to put the customer at ease and convey a general politeness expected in dealing with human beings (Hi, how are you today?). Maybe you should stop by is perfect because simply not showing up is a lot easier than rejecting someone outright. I think people are going a little overboard with the sexual objectification and harassment-type comments. So whats the best way to ask ehr out or get her number while shes working? By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. And its so true; it can be tricky to know if someone just really likes corn or really likes you. Or if you know you have a shared interest from the conversations youve had while in the storelike you both do yoga, you could mention that theres this great little yoga class down by the lake that you go to and maybe he should stop by. Think of it this way: can you think of someone you think is genuinely rather awful? How to ask out your cashier? - GirlsAskGuys I used to work at a library too and we were always told not to give out our full names and to be vigilant of patrons. I guess Im just a bit pessimistic in that it rarely happens that way. And of course, a lot of people would prefer not to field come-ons while theyre working. If the only conversation youve ever had is the normal chitchat when he rings up your purchases. He was 20 and I was 32. This way, both of you can learn more about each other while also discovering new places at the same time; an enjoyable experience for everyone involved! No one is saying that you cant meet people in public places or even workplaces. Its really helping me to figure out what to do (and Ive been debating this with myself for awhile now) and Im really grateful that so many people chose to respond. But if she's more sensitive, even this will upset her, freak her out and make her uncomfortable every time she has to help you again. In all seriousness, young and youngish women in customer-service jobs are frequently dealing with a more-0r-less daily barrage of men who interpret smiled at me and was polite as wants me, and it can be exhausting and, yes, scary, since a significant fraction of men dont take a polite no thanks well. This x a million. A simple "Would you like to continue this conversation after work some time?" I think people should recognize the difference between hitting on someone (e.g. She cant be sure but either he wants a cup of coffee with her or he doesnt. She did fret for quite a bit over whether she was misreading general customer-facing friendliness for flirting, or whether he really was interested in her, but only platonically. I worked in restaurants for years and later on in customer service and sales. * #notallmenobviously, note the qualifier. I dont think its fair to ask people to voluntarily take on that risk at work when theres another approach that will neatly avoid that issue. By following these steps, youll have gotten yourself one step closer to asking a cashier out! If she perks up and looks interested, you can respond with something like. I expect it to be more difficult in a big supermarket than in a small shop, but I wouldn't label this behaviour as non respectful. I will put a quick disclaimer/bias I am female, and I think women overall have to deal with this more than men, so its probably why its more annoying in my mind. I know people who have met because they ride the same train to work every day or theyve attended the same sporting event. Oh man! It's her job to be nice to you, don't mistake this for her giving hints that she's interested in you. There's a strong bias against guys bothering random girls in shops with requests for dates (speaking from experience). I came of age during a time where it was new and shocking for women to take planes, trains and automobiles on their own. to flirt with a cashier I would be so creeped out if someone I was unfamiliar with asked me to stop by their home, even if they phrased it as a party invite. I did get hit on a lot way back then but it was always little boys who wanted me to come over and play and have milk and cookies later because their mom just made the best, etc. In my case, it was simple. I live in Denmark just north of Germany so it's not completely unfeasible that there are some similarities. But my biggest problem is I'm pretty shy with people I don't know and I'm really worried about being "that guy". Thats a pointas the OP is gauging this guys interest, she should observe how he acts with other customers. How To Get Resin Conan Exiles? It puts the ball in her court, but at the same time provides some asynchronous communication so that she doesn't have to react if she doesn't want to (which is why I said 'don't ask'). Even if she's busy on Thursday, or does not share your interest in this type of event it's a first step. You never know! Cashier Interview Questions and Sample Answers | Indeed.com The degrees of freedom available to signify attraction are few. Trust me on this, its not good.. (Sorry couldnt resist), Thanks for that inspiring story; your friend is a smooth operator! They have to smile and pretend like everything you say is hilarious and engage in chitchat. For example: "I like to grab lunch here before going to [Public Event You Enjoy]". Put yourself somewhere that she might be out of work. But, try becoming friends outside of work first. After about 2 Nothing terribly overt but just talking, asking what I'm up to for the rest of the day and just seeming kind of excited to talk to me. Im not saying that women never have trouble, because of course they do, but every one of the incidents that the men described were situations where all of the women who were in the conversation were basically what the hell were you thinking going somewhere alone with a stranger/letting a stranger get that physically close to you?. Flirt more. It pays Your best hope here is to have a random encounter with her in a more social setting like a bar, where it is a lot more socially acceptable to offer someone a drink/phone number if they indicate an interest in you. was a customer that I wanted to hit on me! Seriously, how do you ask out a cute cashier (F) without being "that guy"? That was hilarious. We were students and had a few regulars known to follow us around the stacks while were working (one would mutter under his breath the whole time, we thought it mightve been poetry ugh). If she seems to like the idea, then exchange numbers. And for what its worth, having been a barista and worked at Target, there really wasnt any appreciable difference between being asked out and being hit on. The amount was wrong. Hello, OP here. Thanks for the advice and encouragement Erin! I just want to do my job and part of that job is being nice to people and making sure they are enjoying our services. My guess is that the OP is a man, simply because men (of all orientations) are more likely to hit on service employees than women are. ", If she expresses interest in the activity as well, tell her more about it so she can attend: "Yeah, it's really fun. How To Ask Out The Cashier? | Relationship Talk Which then bums me out further. By clicking Post Your Answer, you agree to our terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy. Can I use the spell Immovable Object to create a castle which floats above the clouds? Could be Im old-fashioned, but I think asking somebody out can be different than hitting on somebody. WebCashier responsibilities include receiving payments and issuing receipts, gift-wrapping packages and keeping track of all cash and credit transactions.
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