It's just bread that gets tumors! Spy: [somewhat bemused] sexual congress with the Eiffel Tower. TF2 announcer- Victory! The Scout throws up his hands, the Heavy is startled and momentarily loses control of the van, and the Soldier takes over the monitor.]. [He makes a gun formation with his right hand. Wait! Where have you been sending it?! [Spy walks away to pour a drink. Engineer: Guys! As his wobbles precariously on the Teleporter as it slows down, we can see that he is also festively clad in a sombrero and novelty Margarita shaped sunglasses while also carrying another beer]. It is now also available as a free-to-play ( since June 23, 2011) download on Steam for Windows, OS X, and Linux. CLOSE THE BLAST DOORS! [He removes the watch from his arm and gives it to Miss Pauling] See, that is where this all starts! ], [SPY'S SMOKING ROOM: 58 HOURS TIL DEATH Cut to rear shot of the Spy sitting back in his leather arm chair. Medic: [Appearing behind the Engineer] It's not even tumors! No. The two run for the exit as the bread monster lunges after them, crashing through a wall. He lowers the dummy down, holding onto its back with one hand as he looks up to Spy, who nods his head in approval. Miss Pauling: [she continues talking as the camera pans] Look, just keep the briefcase safe okay? He triumphantly celebrates his arrival with a crate of beer with limes wedged in the necks, his grenades on his vest removed to carry bottles. [The bread monster crashes through the door as Scout pulls Miss Pauling out of harm's way. Klaxons start going off and red alarm lights begin flashing. Spy: [he peers closer] I have something radiating off of me. It reads 70:00:00. At 4:16, the Scout line, "Classic Scout", was improvised by voice actor Nathan Vetterlein as detailed in his Twitch Stream. Now weakened, the wooden platform collapses, sending the trio plummeting to the dirt below. A dead BLU soldier can be seen draped on the roof of the van. Spy agrees to coach Scout in how to behave around a lady. Miss Pauling: [Her expression darkens] Scout, I'm here right now. [1] Check the bottom of the product, the sides of the container, the lid, and the necks of bottles. Soldier has a grin on his face, Demo looks concerned, and Spy looks very worried. About a second later, it reappears in front of the Medic, and begins chittering loudly, squirming in place. Heavy revs his mini-gun up and walks towards the bread monster, firing his weapon. Spy, look at this. We can't. Fine. No. While Scout shows some progress, Spy ultimately declares Scout a failure. Spy: [rolls his eyes and gets off the door, light chimes and strings play] Make it quick. For most men, no time at all. Miss Pauling reacts and turns hurriedly from the camera.] ], Spy: Final Question [Cut to a shot of Spy, who is silhouetted against the floodlights.] Um. Scout tells her about the death prognosis just as the two are helped out of the remains of the gigantic Bread Monster by the rest of the team. [He walks across the ring, awaiting Scout's answer.]. The Heavy manages to find a Sandvich and leans contently on the fridge door and takes a bite.]. I just said we're not filled with tumors! [The cab's rear door abruptly opens and the Soldier steps out, and with his right hand, hastily pushes Scout's face into his seat. In face of this news, Spy decides to collect a bucket list in a literal bucket. [he gestures, thinking out loud.] ], [The Engineer turns to the Medic. He lowers the dummy down, holding onto its back with one hand as he looks up to Spy, who nods his head in approval. A march-like drum beat plays], [Cut to a close-up of a poker table. Wanna do it? Online. He eyes it worriedly.]. The kind that smell good, and can read. (Note: captions read "Mrs. Pauling"), [The Soldier disappears into the rear of the van and the door slides closed behind him. Scout: [nervously] Yeah. I guess it's a date. Listen now We've been running some experiments on the Teleporter. A.M. Case the restaurant, run background checks on the staff. An upbeat, funky jazz track starts playing. 2. [The Medic and the Engineer are discussing something, but turn to Scout when he addresses them. Wait! Scout: [unconvincingly] Miss Pauling. [he looks around at their faces] What? Cut back to the team. Miss Pauling: [quickly] I was furious. This is first hinted at in the, When the Soldier tells the Engineer he has a question, he does not actually ask a. She ramps off the wooden bush and flies right through the curtain. The monster throws Scout at the Demoman, and they both collapse onto the ground. Scout: Ehhh. ", The location of the RED Base is in an edited version of the map. [He turns to the rest of the mercenaries in a mock whisper. TF2 - Frying Pan. "I Have Done Nothing But Teleport Bread for Three Days" is a line spoken by Soldier in 2014 Team Fortress 2 animated short "Expiration Date." The line gained popularity as a catchphrase, phrasal template and a subject of references in Team Fortress community, gaining wider recognition online in the late 2010s. Scout: [sitting up and angrily gesturing] Go to hell, Spy. Expiration Date is a movie that was released on the 17th of June 2014 to promote the Love and War Update. The room is dimly lit with moonlight and the warm glow of the fireplace. Stand back son. [She lets out a deep breath, cocks the shotgun, and pushes the door open, spinning around and bringing the shotgun to Scout's fluffy chest, who's waiting for her there.]. Scout: [A look of confusion on his face] You're not mad? Suddenly a siren can be heard in the background with guards shouting. Engineer: Well yeah. Light flute music plays with a soft drum accompaniment. Guide :: Copypasta Scripts of All "Meet the - Steam Community [Cut to a right side view of the van. Um. Seduce me! Scout: [frantic yet hushed strings play] But you, Spy. ], Scout: Lot of people busy with busywess. Please. Looks like I will be burying bodies all weekend. The Spy swirls his cut crystal glass and takes a drink whilst reading "Dapper Cadavar Monthly" magazine, as the track of the same name plays in the background. The camera angle is also slightly higher up than in the final video. They stop as he holds her up and looks at her. And this here. Spy. Fuzzy dice adorn the rear view mirror. The word DINNER is written on the chalkboard as Spy says something to the Scout. The Sniper attempts to take another shot at the monster, but instead is lifted into the air by a tentacle that has grabbed a hold of the barrel of the rifle. ], Soldier: [proudly] HA HA HA! Totally not the expiration date script : r/tf2shitposterclub - Reddit This is a reference to ". The Sniper attempts to take another shot at the monster but instead is lifted into the air by a tentacle that has grabbed a hold of the barrel of the rifle. A literal bucket list. ], [Cut back to Spy and Scout in the classroom, only this time DANCING is written on the chalkboard. [The Medic throws the jar containing the bread creature onto the ground. The dove from earlier flies at the monster and is promptly eaten by it. ], [Cut to a shot of Miss Pauling watching the battle. Miss Pauling climbs to her feet and darts away, pressing herself up against the RED payload bomb. Miss Pauling: Scout, it's Pauling. Scout: Hey, Miss Pauling. [She pushes past the Scout, who follows her.] Here's the update video https://youtu.be/bIsP-LB2fr8Recommended resolution to watch: 720. Tell me you got the briefcase. Right. The RED Demoman takes a quick spin on the Teleporter and disappears. Scout: Miss Pauling. [The camera cuts to a shot of the Spy walking behind Heavy's back. ], Miss Pauling: [Quickly] You're ready. Scout then admits Spy is better than him, and Spy demands that broadcast around the base as payment for his services. Scout, are we having a prom? It recoils in pain, letting out a loud roar. Medic: Where?! The Scout tosses the keys. [The Heavy lifts up the side of the monster's body, allowing light to flood over Scout and Miss Pauling.]. Ah. Seduce me! It smashes the cliff face with a tentacle, causing rock to come tumbling down on the Heavy, who endures the debris pounding down on his back. "It doesn't have to be serious, just coffee or something." Rania smirks. Scout: We both got buckets of chicken. He hits Scout in the face with the pointer, who reels back in pain. ], Spy: See you all in hell. Heavy: [Struggling to keep the blast doors open] COME ON! [The cab's rear door abruptly opens and the Soldier steps out, and with his right hand, hastily pushes Scout's snout into his seat. The screen cuts to black. The severed hand of what is presumably the BLU Heavy falls out of one of the bags. Anyway I-, [The Spy suddenly lunges towards the door, slamming it shut on Scout's body. At 11:48, Engineer is seen upgrading his level one sentry to a level 2 far away from the monster, but at 12:31 he is seen hitting a level one sentry right next to the monster, and then at 12:42 he is seen next to a level 3 sentry where his level 2 was. As Scout and Pauling run towards the Bread Monster, they perform a short dance routine. It was released by Valve on October 10, 2007 as the multiplayer component of the Orange Box, which also includes Half-Life 2: Episode 2 and Portal. Oh my God, you set off the briefcase alarm and you were having a prom for some reason. Miss Pauling: Oh! [Cut to a close-up of the watch. Earn it! He returns his eyes to the road. He gets swung to one side and loses his grip on his gun. Minusve're not bread. Spy, look at all of this. The Medic runs in front of the camera as it focuses back on Scout and Miss Pauling.]. [brings out a flip notebook], [The camera slowly pulls back to reveal the body of the monster, which now lays motionless. Goodbye! The bread creature flips itself in the jar and gnashes its teeth at the bottom of the container, and the Soldier chuckles to himself at its actions. Wait. At 1:21, when Miss Pauling goes off camera, the firing sound of the Revolver can be heard. Its called copypasta as a combination of both 'copy' and 'paste'. At 11:55, the Scout's weapon clips through the side of the bread monster after he hits it. She places her back up against the wall to the left of the door and glances upwards briefly. Spy flicks open his disguise kit, plucks a cigarette out of it, then snaps it closed again. Got to go. It hates me so much! Miss Pauling: Oh, but you can ride along with me on some jobs. Half-standing, the Soldier examines the bucket.]. This painting is a parody of, At 6:04, a painting can be seen behind the Spy of him riding a horse. We've been told Expiration Date was hilarious and it definitely didn't disappoi. Miss Pauling turns and shoots him with a silenced pistol. [He walks across the ring, awaiting Scout's answer.]. Later, he can be seen gently kissing the hand of the dummy as the Spy watches. He pushes the cart which rolls to a stop in front of the Scout. Scout: That's right, fancy pants, myself! Cut shot to the Scout who looks relieved at the hand being removed from his snout. Recommended videos. Is the Demo back with the beer yet? The Pyro can be seen dashing back to the battle, having presumably been knocked back by the bread monster. Soldier: [brightly] Hello, Miss Pauling! Cut to a close-up of Scout and Miss Pauling. An upbeat, funky jazz track starts playing. [Reverse shot with the bucket in the foreground. Scout: [gestures to the table which holds another Teleporter, a loaf of bread, and an ashtray] Hey, look at all this. Dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30 [Spy looks down at Scout, and after a few seconds of thought, speaks]. [he angrily throws the card down] Did anyone besides Scout put a card into the bucket?! The second half of our Double Trouble Thursday features another TF2 reaction. I'm not one of your fried chicken tramps! Scout: You look You look aahhhhhh [Close up of the camera, then cut to a shot of Demoman, Soldier, and Spy in a room full of monitors, watching the two interact. Engineer: [Laughing] So, we're fine. Cut to a shot of Miss Pauling on a scooter, speeding towards RED Base. Fuzzy dice adorn the rear view mirror. [relaxes and chuckles] So yeah, Miss Pauling. The timer ticks down to one second as they leap straight into the open maw of the monster. The healing beam latches onto the Heavy, and the Medi Gun crackles with energy as the berCharge is deployed. As the camera pulls back farther, the Pyro can be seen coming into the shot, who has the small bread monster darting around his legs like a puppy as he tries to keep track of it.]. As long as nobody teleports any bread. [he looks around at their faces] What? You're a failure. The Scout bounces on his feet on the right, looking nervous. The Sniper is on the backside of the monster, cleaning his Kukri. ], [She disappears off-camera. [She lets out a deep breath, cocks the shotgun, and pushes the door open, spinning around and bringing the shotgun to Scout's chest, who's waiting for her there.]. At 5:01, Spy's model does not sync with the censored word (F***). [Soldier is grabbed by a tentacle, dragged over towards the monster, and then thrown into a pile of broken lumber. The Heavy slowly folds his arms.]. Some mistakes and inconsistencies are present in the short film: The BLU Soldier is missing from the roof of the van during the opening scene, and only appears once the van approaches the base. A Payload Pinball machine can be seen in the background. What's the font used for "Expiration Date"? : r/tf2 - Reddit I get one day off a year. Riots in the Teufort areas have grown out of control, and even the United States Army cannot control it. She comes to a stop outside a steel plate door and hops off of the scooter, shotgun in hand. ], [Fade to a shot of the Medic's Laboratory. Okay [He walks up to the Spy.] [Miss Pauling has now removed the panel off of the detonation mechanism of the bomb, and can be seen frantically messing with the wires. ], [The Scout coughs and the Spy delicately places the second glass down. [Spy stops pouring, looks up, and turns towards Scout. The Scout opens the door and peeks in.]. This is a reference to the "Sword Van" comic from KC Green's "Custom Comix". The Heavy remains at the fridge door, eating his Sandvich, but observing.]. Heavy: [Turning to the Medic] NOW, DOCTOR! Everything you just said was insane and, we are out of time. I guess it's a date. His brow wrinkles]. Seduce Me! | Know Your Meme [RED BASE: 70 HOURS TIL DEATH Cut to the RED BREAD building. The monitor buzzes off. Its usually used (copy-paste) on a block of text that are either funny or 'troll' in nature to mess with another person. She hurriedly arrives on the scene, but is infuriated upon learning that the briefcase is actually secure. The Heavy remains at the fridge door, eating his Sandvich, but observing.]. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. The cards in the bucket also read "LOL. Why don't we discuss it over dinner. Easy Ways to Read Expiration Dates: 8 Steps (with Pictures) - WikiHow No, actually, wait [The Scout is interrupted by a scream, and the Soldier flies into the hangar and lands on the ground.]. Scout: What? The rear bumper falls off.] Spy: Oh, Scout. Wait! Gentlemen, synchronize your death watches. The camera pans from the rear towards the front while a heavy drum beat plays. Exactly! to view a random entry. Scout: OwO Wait! The Scout tosses the keys. Muffled shots can be heard. Jun 18, 2014 at 06:07PM EDT Heavy and Medic pause and look at the bread monster with fear in their eyes.]. [he lights a cigarette]. Scout: Yeah, sure! Dead! Lyrics, Meaning & Videos: Meet the Pyro, Expiration Date, Meet the Medic, Mann vs. Machine, Jungle Inferno, Meet your Match, Team Fortress 2 Trailer, Team Fortress 2 is Free to Play, Meet the Medic - Outtake - Kill Me, Mann vs. Machine - The Sound of Medicine, Find the lyrics and meaning of any song, and watch its music video. Spy: Excellent. [He nearly chokes the Scout and raises a hand as if to punch his face. Scout: [straightening himself out] So, I did write down a last wish. Scout: so that brings me to the point of this story, which is I like you, and you should probably be sitting for this [In the background, the Medic hurriedly rushed forward to heal the Pyro, who has been lifted by another tentacle], Miss Pauling: GUYS! [She points at the hangar they just exited from. The Spy proceeds to show Scout the proper way to dance, while Scout looks on in confusion.