In other words, it could happen to you tomorrow.. We look forward to having you join in on future conversations! I went into this tiny bathroom in Baltimore in our office building, and just cried my eyes out, and it wasnt even because she died. Kelly Corrigan:Thats not a headline anybody wants to read. Like the other day when I was being wheeled into a procedure, the nurse looked at my chart, and then casually said, Colon cancer. Kate Bowler:I need to hear what your motto is. Kelly Corrigan:Well, chop-chop kid. The idea that any day could be this huge day, I dont know, that really gets me out of bed, you know? Kate Bowler:Those ordinary consonants and vowels that, when strung together, offer meaning and points of entry for others. Weekly dose of wonder: The glorious sounds of chickens : NPR Dont misread this, my mother was a loving woman, but she passed on this legacy, this painful legacy shed been burdened with, that women should take up as little space as possible, risk as little as possible, and hide our lights lest we make fools of ourselves. After the potency of the crime metaphor wore off, I turned to the vocabulary of religion. Thanks for sharing, Diane! You know, like it wasnt me. Best Kelly Corrigan Podcasts (2023) Kate Bowler:Yeah. Thats the word. You start with, Its like this.. Thats where relationship lives is in these tiny moments, and whether you are cognizant of that and tuned into that channel all the time, or not, that is the story of a relationship. So, I really appreciated the way that you framed the bigness and the smallness of it, because it has to be both. Kelly Corrigan:Now maybe Im going to go to Durham, and now maybe Im going to get my PhD in Divinity. Kelly Corrigan:Dont get crumbs on the baby. Theres a title. I mean, maybe I was projecting, maybe whatever he said in that moment, maybe if he had said peanut butter, and jelly, wed be talking about peanut butter and jelly, but it totally resonated for me in the way that a song lyric does where youre like, I dont know what that means exactly, but Im going to write that down, and put it in my wallet, and its interesting. She plans to give it to her daughter, who graduates from high school in June.. Take Care Kate, Surely, my friend, my lost and lovely friend, called for new words. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah, and theres forgiveness and acceptance kind of intertwined there that you know, youre going to forget. Kate Bowler:Well, I accept. 5-Minute Listen. Its really wonderful to learn more about you and hear the ways youve connected with Kate and the book. She's a daughter who still mourns the loss of her dad, a mom to her amazing daughters, a wife to her fantastic husband, a sister, a good friend, and a woman trying her best to leave this world a better and a brighter one for future generations. Click here for discussion questions for this podcast episode. Today, I get a chance to talk to Kelly about some of her very best phrases. Each episode ends with a special Plus One segment, in which guests are invited to thank those that have supported them along their journey. I think people think that if you have a diagnosis, or somethings happened to you that you should know because youre proof of it. Mahra:Ive been singing these lines from a song by the Avett Brothers to my kids for years, and it goes like this. Im sorry to ask about the hard part, but would you mind telling me what happened? Thanks For Being Here Mary Hope's Letter Introducing Alex. She was really, really into manners, and as kind of an act of gratitude, not in an uptight, British way, but as a Look at us eating a meal together, like, Nobody should eat before the last person gets down. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. I didnt do it. This is an amazing story. Jennifer Garner tells Kelly Corrigan how she inspires others to find their true passions. Youre going to slide around, you know, youre going to deserve your life a little more some days than others. Can we trust our gut? Kelly Corrigan:Sure, my pleasure. So, thats just the question in front of all of us. Kelly Corrigan:Well you know, its so funny. For every graduate from kindergarten to PhDs -- but especially the kids Kate Bowler:Theres this other phrase, I was wrong, that has real power, and you learned that in a really intense way when your grandma died. Its so that they can identify some critical difference between you and them that makes them feel like they can exhale again. PRX Series Kelly Corrigan Wonders Kate Bowler:Yeah. Kilpy Welcome to Kelly Corrigan Wonders, a place for people who like to laugh while they think and find it useful to look closely at ourselves and our weird ways in the hopes that knowing more and feeling more will help us do more and be better. I was healthy, and then I was sick, and now Im feeling pretty good, and even though the language around immunotherapy isnt perfect, I can happily say that I am in remission. Kate Bowler:You are someone who has gotten mixed up in all kinds of things, and I am so glad to know you. (As consciously lesbian from about four-years old, believe it or not, I preferred handsome to pretty.) And she said, Kelly, Im going to try to do the Uber to this wedding, and I was wondering if you can request a woman, and I said, No you cant, but you can trust it. Kelly Corrigan:Hearts dont idle. Kelly Corrigan:I never came up with any combination that came close to the feeling. Onwards! Then I wanted to get right with him, and urgently. Its what I said to my grad school colleague when she asked me if I planned to go into academia after we graduated. Kelly Corrigan:I sat at my dining room table, which is place I never write, and I thought, Oh my God, of course I know exactly what this is. Kelly Corrigan:My instinct is to fix, cause I feel Im almost sure I can. Minds dont rest. We read and appreciate every comment. Alex, I just want to show up and try to be of use. Then cancer hit. And she said, Kelly, Im going to try to do the Uber to this wedding, and I was wondering if you can request a woman, and I said, No you cant, but you can trust it. I said, No, I just want to go back to Vietnam and do what I was doing. Gratefully, A former newspaper columnist and four time bestselling . Kelly Corrigan:But you know, if Im jumping in with my fancy solution two and a half minutes in, I just cut you off, and then we leave each other, and I have this little high like, Ah, I just really helped her, and she walks away thinking, She didnt hear anything I said. Like, Today could be this day, well, you know, today I met you, now were friends, and who knows whats going to happen now? Im hearing all the music, Im totally tuned in to the right channel, and then just like that, I slip into those mundane irritants., Kelly Corrigan:And then I catch myself, and then I feel this sense of shame, and he said, Its like this. So, God is generous was my dads way of promising us a better future. If you love the episode, please share and review. I loved this episode! Kate Bowler:Well I think part of it, and this gets to another phrase that you write about which is I dont know, but you and I, it sounds like, have given up on certainties as a way to cope with that, both having been through cancer, and also I think both realizing that people really dont like it when you say, I dont know.. Kelly Corrigan:Dont get crumbs on the baby. Theres a title. We have a lot to learn from you. You also realized there was incredible parenting magic in the phrase, Tell me more. So, what is this witchcraft you speak of? Thanks for the rebellion and the reminder that we as women take up space, take risks, and even make mistakes! This is the way this has to be, and its right there. Embed. All moments, days, chapters are transitory and the good ones leave us as do the bad ones. I was wrong not to try to know her, and I could just see it in his face that it was like, Okay, you understand. Kate Bowler:I do think people offer certainties when they think that youre proof of something that scares them, and they cant just live in the uncertainty of not knowing for a minute. Kelly Corrigan:Theyre never going to not do that, and thats how theyre going to raise their kids, and that means shes still here. But first, we need you to sign in to PBS using one of the services below. Kelly Corrigan:One that Ive always liked is, Things happen when you leave the house. I think I like the sense of theres something out there that you can tap into. Kelly Corrigan:You dont always need such a plan, or an agenda, or whatever. Kelly Corrigan:And thats the truth. Leave a review on Apple Podcasts. So, I was wondering, would you mind reading that beautiful passage you wrote about after Liz died? I dont know, but a whole new world of possibilities exist right now that did not exist an hour and 10 minutes ago, and I think that is so cool, and real, and exciting. Ive read Tell Me More twice already. I go, Oh, thank you for that bit of suggestion.. Team Everything Happens, Kate, I didnt make her final days one bit better, and I lived there for two years. 5:55. They hate it. Kate Bowler:Im Kate Bowler, and this is Everything Happens. Im so sorry youre not going to like any of my answers. Advice to graduates: Just ask questions Kate Bowler:Words matter. You are everywhere they are., Kelly Corrigan:I really believe that, even though Im skeptical, and Im mad at people who say, Her spirits still here, and stuff. I had to make it into a vest to remove it from my body with the tag still on it, you know? And the potted plant theory, I cant credit it to someone, Im sorry, I dont know who put it out there, but the idea is that if you were to have a plant in your kitchen, you might not be aware of it at all, and then if someone were to remove it, youd say What happened to that plant?. Its remarkable to hear a bit of your story and Im really grateful that youve shared it with us. Kelly Corrigan:So, she had to call someone and ask them to come over and zip her dress so she could go to the wedding. So, thats just the question in front of all of us. Find me online at @KateCBowler, and Id love to hear what you think of this episode. Its a very learned thing that I have to insert the words into my mouth, and push them out deliberately, because my instinct is to solve. They reel and wander and fixate and roll back and reconsider, because its like this, having a mind. Kate Bowler:Absolutely. I was also living only maybe 10 miles from my very old grandma who lived alone, and I kept kind of meaning to go visit her, but its a lot easier to show up at work every day at the United Way, and get kind of righteous about all the people who work for money versus the rest of us who are working for the greater good, than it is to go to your grandmas smelly, weird apartment, and have weird conversations with an 88-year old, you know? Together, Kate and Kelly explore the phrases we cling to in order to find deeper connection and meaning during difficult times. Kate Bowler:Well, the one that we sort of settled on most was, Dont let the turkeys get you down, cause we were all deeply unpopular children, but it did make me think about mottos, and how it sort of defines the season that we live in. For a special listener who was just diagnosed, here are some thoughts on the stages of recovery that I encourage you to share with every last person you know who is in treatment for anything. This interview is perfection. Everything Happens : NPR Kelly Corrigan:They hate it. Then the ocean with its waves so vast, impossible to touch bottom, then a maze, then a mountain, then seasons, a natural disaster. Kate Bowler:Yeah. Its a very learned thing that I have to insert the words into my mouth, and push them out deliberately, because my instinct is to solve. Its these seemingly trivial moments. Maybe I dont have to be good, but I can try to be least a little better then Ive been so far., Riham:Our family motto is Allah Kareem. Kelly Corrigan:And it wasnt my turn for his attention. Theyre poking for that critical difference to hold on to, and I wanna hug em, and say, I know. Okay, but Im just telling you those kids are waking up every day without her, and theyre going to keep being without her forever. Dont worry, and she said, Well, my problem is I cant zip my dress by myself, so I thought if it was a woman, I could ask her to come in, and zip my dress, and I thought, Thats the tiny moments that are so gut-wrenching for a new widow. So, I grew up with this sentence with my fathers voice in my head saying, Allah Kareem, God is generous., Cheryl:Our family motto is, Dont eat a hamster. Thats where relationship lives is in these tiny moments, and whether you are cognizant of that and tuned into that channel all the time, or not, that is the story of a relationship. Just do your best. P.S. I mean, that was my big experience of your book. You cant live in that. Kelly Corrigan Wonders: Everything Happens for a - Apple Podcasts Kate Bowler:Absolutely. She has been called the voice of her generation and the poet laureate of the ordinary, and she is the most perfect person to talk to to kick us off because her lovely new book is called Tell Me More, and Tell me more is one of those phrases she uses, phrases that she writes about that help guide her through relationships, and parenting, and grief. Whos going to do this? Please note that this episode references addiction and suicide. You are in good company. Kate Bowler: I'm Kate Bowler, and this is Everything Happens. Like, Im just an ordinary person, and I make all the mistakes that everybody else makes and maybe even 10% more, and then there she was, and what she would have done for the life that I was kind of rushing through, multitasking my way through day, after day, and you know, sort of feeling snappish, and then catching myself, and feeling like I should be different. Michael Lewis on What Makes Some People Irreplaceable. One day I just snapped and threatened to sell the dog. Use one of the services below to sign in to PBS: You've just tried to add this video to My List. As many of our listeners know, Kelly has a dear cousin, Kathy, who turns up, one way or another, in all of Kelly's books. Your email address will not be published. Episode 3: How to Fall in Love with Anyone - Greater Good I love you both so much and was tickled to hear you together. I should not be mad about this. One of the hardest things Ive been wrestling with is not having any clear language for this weird place between sick and healthy, weak and strong. Kate Bowler:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think people think that if you have a diagnosis, or somethings happened to you that you should know because youre proof of it. He had things to do for days, and days, and days, and eulogies to write, and people to hug, and people to thank, and accounts to close, and cars to sell, and he had work to do, both emotional and just literally logistics. The result is "Think Twice: Michael Jackson," a 10-part podcast from Audible and Wondery that will be available exclusively on Audible and Amazon Music on Thursday. Kelly has also agreed to be my friend as part of her contractual commitment to this podcast. Kelly Corrigan:Now maybe Im going to go to Durham, and now maybe Im going to get my PhD in Divinity. Kelly Corrigan Full Transcript - Kate Bowler Everything Happens with Kate Bowler Kelly Corrigan: Tell Me More 30 00:00:00 30 Read more about this episode, and get show notes, here. By creating an account, you acknowledge that PBS may share your information with our member stations and our respective service providers, and that you have read and understand the Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. Kate Bowler:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was wrong, and that is very soothing, but then that took me back to this moment where I had gone to work for United Way after college, because I was going to save the world, and I was this total do-gooder. Constance Wu and Kelly Corrigan in Lafayette, CA. Inspiring and thought-provoking interviews conducted by bestselling author Kelly Corrigan. Inspiring and thought-provoking interviews conducted by author Kelly Corrigan. Its not in my family. Im so compassionate to that thing that happens every time you tell someone that you had cancer, which is the other person trying to figure out why its not going to happen to them as fast as possible. I was wrong. The idea that any day could be this huge day, I dont know, that really gets me out of bed, you know? Kate Bowler:You are someone who has gotten mixed up in all kinds of things, and I am so glad to know you. She was really, really into manners, and as kind of an act of gratitude, not in an uptight, British way, but as a Look at us eating a meal together, like, Nobody should eat before the last person gets down. Theres meatless Mondays, and theres a kombucha bar, and theres nap pods. Kelly Corrigan Wonders on RadioPublic Yeah. -Kilpy A Way to Make Work More Meaningful (The Science of Kelly, this is such a good reminder that sometimes we inherit tough histories and mottos. The idea that we just sort of wander around, consume things until we die, like were just a series of small appetites without any deep, rich, meaningful, satisfying connection. Touching on themes like self-belief, resilience, humility, and justice, this series normalizes the human condition and emphasizes our capacity to grow. Diane, Okay. What do we do when the labels were given arent necessarily the ones we choose for ourselves? Its these seemingly trivial moments. Nobody who is between identities they can tolerate does, it seems to me something Ive actively struggled with and expect to go hand to hand with again, whether tomorrow or the day after. Kelly Corrigan:And he said, Thats a way to be a parent, which is to say to be there, to be available, to be within view, but not necessarily inserting yourself, because even though as your kids get older and older, it feels like theyre looking for you less and less, it is sort of a comfort to glance over, and see you there, and feel you there, and they would most certainly notice if you werent. A witty, insightful podcast in search of the big "Yes!" The gap between being inspired and entertained just got smaller. The Best Show is the best live podcast you're ever gonna hear! Shed do anything. Allison Wohl: A Toast Women | Faith & Story Its completely random. Kilpy Kelly Corrigan:One that Ive always liked is, Things happen when you leave the house. I think I like the sense of theres something out there that you can tap into. She totally doesnt get it. Were jumping in way too soon and talking way too much. Kate Bowler:Thanks so much for doing this. Were just a series of days and interactions. Kelly Corrigan:I didnt die. Kelly Corrigan speaks with Maya Shankar about identity foreclosure, the trouble of cognitive forecasting, and new beginnings. Kelly Corrigan:My instinct is to fix, cause I feel Im almost sure I can. Sadly, our family motto was, Youll pass in a crowd if the crowds big enough. My mothers mother didnt want her to get a swelled head, and she passed that down to us, her four daughters. You say something thats so weird cause I say it all the time, so when I read it I thought, Did you reach inside my brain? You adopted the phrase, Onward as a bit of a motto. Absolutely enjoy these, the wisdom, the calm, the gentle reminder of our true reality and the essentiality of the connections we make and need to survive and help each other. I rebelled. Enjoy an intimate and heartfelt interview series hosted by author Kelly Corrigan.
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